Sorting out the finances when you get divorced – how much will it cost? The question is notoriously difficult to answer, but it helps if you understand the work that may be involved.

Before you start negotiating a financial agreement you must have full financial disclosure. Each party assembles all their financial information, with documentary evidence (for example property valuation, mortgage statement, Form P60, salary slips, credit card statements). Disclosure then takes place, usually simultaneously by putting copies of the papers in the post on an agreed day. Each party and their solicitor then go through the other party’s documents and ask any questions that arise and ask for any documents that appear to be missing.

Disclosure is essential, and you should not even think of skipping it. Do not assume that you know everything about your spouse’s financial situation. Even an apparently minor aspect of someone’s finances can make a difference (for example a small pension from a previous job may not be as insignificant as its owner claims – it may have a transfer value of thousands of pounds).

Once disclosure is complete, and not before, negotiation can begin. Once a settlement has been agreed (and most cases are settled by agreement), one or other of the solicitors drafts the order that the court will be asked to make by consent, goes through it with their client and sends it to the other solicitor for them to approve.

It is not necessary to spend huge amounts of money on sorting out the finances on a divorce. It keeps costs down if each party passes their financial documents to their solicitor complete and well-organised. When negotiating, keep your eye on the bigger picture – think in terms of overall outcomes and avoid the temptation to deal with each asset (house, endowment policy, ISA, etc.) piecemeal. Avoid ‘trial by correspondence’. Be realistic in what you are trying to achieve. Be flexible.

All of which is fine if your spouse is as reasonable as you are. Unfortunately your spouse’s attitude is the one thing you can’t control. Sometimes it is best to acknowledge early on that your spouse is turning the divorce into a huge expense, and to ask the court to decide on the finances. This incurs costs, but at least you avoid the worst ‘double whammy’ of all: trying for months and months to get disclosure and then negotiate a settlement only to have to apply to the court anyway. If you fall into that trap, you effectively pay twice over. The knack, of course, is to spot when you are heading for that situation.